LIFE LESSONS

Why I Don’t Regret My Affair

Sometimes an affair can be a wake-up call to change.

kasey sparks
5 min readJan 4, 2021

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My alarm clock: Author’s photo

An Affair.

It’s a hot-button word and for good reason. There are so many emotions and feelings surrounding it. Aliveness and anger. Pleasure and pain. Giddiness and guilt. I certainly felt all of those. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions that began with a thrilling climb and ended with a terribly painful descent. And although I won’t be buying a ticket on a ride like that ever again, what my affair did for me is something I don’t regret.

It woke me up

Oprah has said when you need to make changes in your life or are on the wrong path, the universe will throw pebbles to get your attention. If you don’t pay attention to the pebbles, the universe will throw a brick.

The universe had been throwing pebbles at me for years, but I was too asleep to notice. My affair was the brick. It rattled me like a loud alarm clock. “Wake up! Something is wrong!” it blared.

Getting involved with a married man when I was married myself meant there was either something wrong with my marriage or there was something wrong with me — probably a combination of both. My affair was my wake-up call.

It brought things to…

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kasey sparks

making mistakes · gathering lessons · sparking curiosity · finding meaning & magical moments in the midst of my messy life · wrangling words since 2017