INFIDELITY

What I Needed Most During My Affair

If you’re knee-deep in one, you may need these things too

kasey sparks
4 min readDec 11, 2021

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Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

I can hear the comments already.

“I’ll tell you what you needed. You needed to get out of the damn thing!”

Although that advice may be true, it’s not very helpful. During my affair, my head and heart were a tumultuous roller-coaster ride of emotions. One day I’d be soaring. I’d feel so alive. The next day the enormity of the whole thing would sink in and I’d take a nosedive.

I knew I needed to end this exhausting ride, but my head was spinning so fast I couldn’t think straight. To take that step, I needed a few things first.

I needed someone to listen without judgment

The worst part of being involved with a married man is that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.

Scratch that.

The worst part was that I was involved with a married man. The next to worst part was that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.

Of course, the very nature of an affair involves secrecy. I didn’t want anyone to find out. There’s also so much shame placed on people who have affairs, which is understandable because it’s a betrayal. It’s a situation…

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kasey sparks

making mistakes · gathering lessons · sparking curiosity · unearthing guidance in life's illuminating moments · wrangling words since 2017