Hi Phoebe, I have to respectfully disagree. While I agree that cheating is wrong, I believe the reasons do matter. There are some people like the man your friend was involved with that may never able to be faithful. Then there are people like me who’s affair was a desperate cry for love and affection. It was a wake up call to myself that I needed to do some inner work first to determine what needed to change within myself. Next, it pushed me to look to see if change was possible within my marriage. Oftentimes when an affair happens, both people in the marriage have to be open to making some changes. With my marriage, I determined change wasn’t possible and I ended it. If circumstances were different, I never would have had one. And I know in my heart I’ll never do it again because I now know what I need to have in a relationship. Also I believe that when we say the reason doesn’t matter we close ourselves off to any conversations and to really listening to our partners. Just my perspective.