Member-only story
HEALING
Don’t Cling to the One Who Saved You
We must do the work to save ourselves
“I’m broken down like a train wreck
Well, it’s over, I know it but I can’t let go”
~“Can’t Let Go” by Lucinda Williams
Some of my friends have told me that my marriage was a bit like being in a state of trauma.
My former husband wasn’t overtly abusive. His behavior tilted more towards the side of covert actions. Underhanded digs. Shushing me when I wanted to talk. Ignoring so many of the voicemails I left for him because he was far too busy to listen.
Being held down and feeling neglected can cause trauma. I felt trapped and unloved. I was in desperate need of help and healing.
Enter my affair partner.
In many ways, I saw this man as my savior. He’s the one who woke me up to how bad my marriage was and I struggled to let go of him. I clung to him. But about a month or so after I left my former husband, the relationship with my affair partner ended as well. Its ending was far more painful than that of my marriage.
When I look back now, I see how unhealthy I was. My mind was messed up. I was broken and my emotions were a train wreck. And even though I knew it was over with my affair partner, I couldn't let go.
