Christopher, This reminds me of Brene Brown and how she talks about the methods we use to numb our troubles and struggles. Yours was alcohol, mine was busyness. I'd just keep doing stuff to avoid the pain. And then when we stop the busyness or the alcohol, the struggles are still there. So we need to learn a more healthy way to deal with them. Because as Brene goes on to say, we can't numb selectively. When we numb the bad, we also numb the good.

I wholeheartedly support you in your sobriety journey. Your story here is vulnerable and deeply honest. Thank you for sharing it with us. Wishing you well, my Medium friend.