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Making mistakes | Gathering lessons | Sparking curiosity

Curiosity is the spark behind my spark

I’ve always been intensely curious.

I’m curious about the world around me, the world inside me, and the world inside others. I love to hear people’s stories — how they got from point A to point B, why they do the things they do and think the things they think.

My curiosity is never about judgment, but instead about understanding. I enjoy learning through interaction, conversations, and experiences.

As a child, I drove my dad crazy with all my curious questions. I suppose I was a bit annoying with my incessant whys, hows…


I found a place called solitude

My marriage was a lonely place.

Although we climbed the mountain of success together, we didn't do it holding hands. We climbed it by following separate rocky trails.

And when I arrived at the top of that mountain and looked around, what I saw was different from what he saw. We were on the same mountain, yet our views were completely different.

Our souls lacked connection. My pasted-on smile hid my unhappiness. My heart was heavy with the realization that I didn’t enjoy the view from where I was or the person who was up there with me.

That realization…


Take a look at his feathers.

Now that I’ve entered the wild and a bit wacky world of dating, there’s something I’ve noticed about men.

They tend to talk a lot.

Ask them a question and they’ll go on and on.

Don’t get me wrong. I love when men open up to me. I’m a curious person so I love to ask men questions and to hear their stories. And since I already know everything that’s going on inside my own head, I’d rather hear what’s going on inside their heads. That’s what’s novel about the conversation we’re having.

As I listen to my date talk…


Paying it forward with a pig

  • *All of the proceeds from this article will be donated to buy a pig for a family through ELCA Good Gifts

I think I was into words before I really knew I was into words.

When I was young, I used to cut words and sayings out of magazines and put them in the sticky magnetic pages of a photo album. Words and sayings I thought were funny, cool, or inspiring. Words and sayings I wanted to remember to help me become a better person.

When I got married, I tucked this album away in a box of stuff from…


The best smiles start in my soul

I’m taking up the challenge posed to me by my new Medium friend, Christopher Robin, and initiated by Michael Burg, MD’s prompt:

In the diverse world in which we live, full of people separated by language, culture, history and much more, do we all “smile … in the same language?”

I believe the simple answer is yes, we most certainly do.

And within the language of smiles, there are many different varieties, all with different feelings and meanings behind them. There are silly, playful grins. Tense and nervous smiles. …


It’s “Damn, I did something again.”

I made a mistake the other night. After learning FWB won’t work for me and knowing that I need a deeper connection and love to make sex feel right, I found myself doing the very thing I said I wasn’t going to do anymore.

I went into the date telling myself I was going to keep my pants on. Maybe the problem was that I wasn’t wearing pants. I was wearing a skirt.

We made out. It felt good. He was touching me in all the right places. We talked about taking things slow.

Then the sexy talk began. The…


It’s something that was good for me

When my oldest son was about 9 years old, he hopped off the school bus one day and said to me, “Mom, sometimes people don’t hurt me on the outside. They hurt me on the inside.” A very insightful and hard lesson to learn as a 4th grader. Sometimes our insides take a beating by the things people say and do.

Many years have passed since he made that observation, yet his words have always stuck with me. They summed up my marriage quite well. My former husband and I rarely fought and…


If only he cared as much about our marriage as he did our grass.

They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. But I’d say if you notice that it is, it’s time to pay attention as to why. Maybe someone’s taking care of the grass. Maybe someone’s watering it, fertilizing it, and making sure the grass gets what it needs.

Or maybe the grass looks so damn good because someone’s taking care of it and nothing else.

I’m a caretaker at heart. I take care of people and things because I care about people and things. I care about relationships, so I take care of them. I…


I need a John Lennon kind of love

I’ve always been intrigued by the iconic Annie Lebowitz photograph of John Lennon and Yoko Ono. In the image, John is naked, curled around, and tenderly kissing a fully clothed Yoko. As the story goes, Annie originally wanted both John and Yoko to be naked in the image. But when Annie began to set up the photo, Yoko refused to take her clothes off.

From what I’ve read, Yoko and John were deeply in love, which is part of what makes the image so compelling. John’s open and vulnerable affection is such a striking contrast to Yoko’s clothed and passive…


And the three words I ended up telling myself

At times, I have felt like my life resembles a musical. Although I’m not the type to suddenly break into a song and dance routine, song lyrics do have a way of bubbling up in my head as a perfect accompaniment to important life events.

The moment I walked out the door at the end of my marriage was just such an event. The voice of Elton John and the lyrics to his song “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” were playing in a loop in my head. They poetically summed up the way I was feeling.

Because the…

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